That feeling you used to put in my stomach when I saw you.. Isn't caused by you anymore.

Alone.






Well that's how it feels.

There was a couple of times this week, when I thought that I would see you in the morning and just breakdown.

I'm not coping.

But I'll never say it out loud.

But when I do breakdown,
I hope no one is there to see the mess.

How dare you.

How fucking dare you.

What makes you think that you can text her and ask her to come home for the weekend just to save you from your parents?

They are your parents.
Your problem.

Luckily, she said no.
And she was pissed that you asked

Personally..
I'm glad they are coming to stay with you for 3 days.
Hearing it made my day.
Why?
Because I can think of nothing you hate worse.
And I think you deserve it.
;)

I just really need a hug.

I don't know what's happening..
I'm in this downward spiral and it's not good.

I just want to cry all the time.
Small things are setting me off.
I just don't feel happy at all.

There's so much going on in my head.

- Why is she going back to him?
- What happens if his health gets worse?
- What happened during our last phone conversation?
- How can they act as if nothing is wrong?
- How is this fair?

There's only so much one person can take..

I've read the comments people leave on the posts on Secret Regrets.
I've seen how much they care for people they have never met.
But now I truely understand their effect.

The regret posted on February 7th, was written be me.
Three people commented on it.
Their words really do touch your heart.
Knowing that there are people out there that have never met you, have you in their prayers. That they want the best for you. That they believe in you.
It's the nicest feeling in the world.
I wish I could thank those three people personally for their kind words.

"there's a girl who lives her life by her own rules. makes mistakes. fucks shit up. but doesn't look back and wish she did it differently. cause then she would never learn. and she take's life as a learning experience. and live's it as tomorrow would be her last. wanna know who this girl is? me too.. "

It's too soon.

But apparently my opinion doesn't matter anymore...

Urban Dictionary.

Jacqui:

To have a wacky outlook on life, full of color. Gives life to its surroundings, (if lucky enough to be part of them). Talkative due to extensive bank of experiences, may be prone to extended periods of laughter/sillyness. Yes, all of these seemingly unrelated definitions are contained within this word, such is the nature of this entity.

Something just happened..

I saw you were on facebook..
And didn't get that strange little twinge I normally get.

I think this is a new begining.

:)

For the stupidest reason, I think I just died a little inside.

Nobody died..
Nothing has happened to anyone..

But I just found out that Fall Out Boy might be over.

Stupid right?

I haven't listened to them in so long, but when I read what Pete and Patrick had written, I cried.
They were my first obessesion. They were who got me through most days back when I was really down in the dumps. They were a big part of me for a while. And the thought of them not making music, makes me sad.

Their music spoke to me.

I realise I probably sound like a crazy person.
But they meant alot to me once..