I didn't think it would hurt this much.
It all happened so suddenly.
One minute everything was fine, and the next we are leaving and not coming back.
I feel sick and numb.
My family is falling apart again.

Fuck.
I thought the feeling came back.
It lasted a split second.
Then it went away :)
But it still made me happy to talk to you on Facebook.
And it made my day that you found me on Twitter and started following you.

Maybe I didn't waste my time liking you, because you know I'm there :D:D

I don't know what's wrong.
I'm gone.
I can't find me at the moment.
I don't sleep, I don't eat, I don't smile, I don't live.

-isdead-

Don't wait for me to do it, because I'm not going to.

I'm over this shit.
I'm over trying to talk to you.
I'm done.
I will talk to you with a tone, I'll be as shitty as I want for as long as I want.
Why should you care?
You don't care about anything I say anyway.
So no big deal right?

I saw a movie yesterday..
Here's some stuff about it:
There's a whole bunch of vampires.
Some have yellow eyes, some have red.
The main vampire's name is Edward.
He doesn't age.
He doesn't hunt humans.
He's looking for a subsitute for human blood.
He meets a human lady, and starts to like her alot.
He drives a fast, expensive car (it's not a Volvo though).

Oh! And this Edward is 35, not 17.
But he's not bad without a shirt :):)

Think I'm talking about Twilight?
Hahahaha..

I'm not.

Daybreakers.
It's really good.
Go see it!

Aside from the similarities it has with Twilight, it has alot of differences.
Like:
The vampires can't go out in the sun or they die.
Edward, the main guy, turns into a human again (weird).
There are hardly any humans left, and those who are left are well aware that they live in vampire world.
The vampires can sleep and eat and aren't very strong.

It's a vary cool movie if you like that sort of thing.
But if you can't handle alot of blood and gore, I wouldn't go ;D

She told me that the first time we met properly, I came across as very lonely.
I would like to say that I have changed, but in a way I don't think I have. Yeah, I have friends that I love to pieces and a big family. But some days, you just get to this point where nobody else is around, or they just don't get how you feel. My mother and father and step-father have no idea how emotionally fucked up I am because of them.

But no matter what,
I will always answer "good" when someone asks how I am.
Always put on a happy face even when I'm in the worst mood.

Can anyone help me?

She just wanted me to tell you..
Thanks for wasting her time.

Everything was so much easier when we were little. I miss those days. The days when you would do something just to get a sticker on your sticker chart. When instead of passing notes or just gossiping, you would pretend your pencils were people and play the pencil game. When you would get told off for swapping lunch. When cartoons were the best. And you weren't afraid to be yourself.

This Is A Story Of A Girl - New ending in bold italics.

Once upon a time, there was a young, unhappy girl. She could've been pretty if she smiled a bit more. She had her father's eyes though she hated to admit it. She didn't like to talk about him much. Not after he left her and her mother when she was younger. When he left, the girl's mother met someone else. At first, the girl didn't mind him. He was nice. Then the girl's mother and her new boyfriend decided to move to his hometown. This was the first of many moves the girl would have in her life. The girl's father encouraged the move to the new town. Well, that's what the girl's mother said. He wanted to make room for the new man in the girl's mother's life. At the time, the girl was too small to understand it. So off they went.
They moved into the new house in the new town, the girl got settled into her new school and made new friends. Things were great. Then the three of them moved to a farm just outside of the town. She thought things were good. But then the mother packed the girl up and they moved back to their old town, leaving the boyfriend behind. They moved back into their old house, the girl went back to her old school and saw her old friends. The girl was happy. The girl's mother, however, was not. After a short period of time, the mother decided to move back to the new town and try again. She got back with her old boyfriend. Again, the girl was happy. But she was oblivious to most things because of her age. She had no idea what was going to happen in just a few short years.
The mother and her boyfriend were together for a while, but then he went away for a while. He went to Africa for a few months. He came back though, and then things went back to the way they were. He went back to Africa once more, just like the last time, and came back just like the last time. The girl's mother was waiting and when he got back things went back to the way things were again.
After a while, the girl and her mother moved again. It was just to a new house this time. They settled in and the mother's boyfriend would come and stay sometimes. But then something happened, the girl can't remember what, and the mother's boyfriend stopped coming round. The mother was unhappy. The girl, oblivious. She was still too young to see what was happening. A while later, the boyfriend stated coming round again, just for visits this time. Then his parents paid for him to take a trip to Canada. And although they never said it, both the girl's mother and the boyfriend knew that they did it to get him away from her. While he was gone, the girl's mother looked after his house. During one of the times that they hadn't been together, the girl's mother had discovered that the boyfriend had met someone else.
Once they were close again, she found out that he had sent the other lady flowers. So while he was gone and she was looking after his house, she went through his mail. She didn't find anything, so she let it go. When he came back, they parted ways as friends. Later that year, the girl and her mother were in town one afternoon. They saw the boyfriend and he looked unhappy. The mother then had idea. It was nearing Christmas. She asked the girl if it would be okay with her if the boyfriend came and had Christmas with their family. The girl said yes. So the boyfriend came to Christmas with them. But the mother and the boyfriend were keeping something from the girl. They were looking at houses. They wanted to move back to the old town. They didn't tell the girl until they had found a house they wanted. They took the girl to show her the house. It was a dump. She hated it. She sat in the car crying. She didn't want to leave her friends, not again. But they moved anyway.
The girl started at another new school and had to make more new friends. After she finally settled in, things were okay again. Then one weekend she went to stay with her Grandparents. When she got home her mother said that her and the boyfriend had something they wanted to ask her. They sat down and asked her what she would think about them getting married. The girl was surprised. She said it would be great. So that was it.
A few weeks later they set dates for everything, and in the following February they got married. The boyfriend turned into the stepfather. Everything was perfect. Well it seemed that way. Then they found the perfect house. So they moved again. This is when things started to change. The girl and the stepfather stopped getting along. The perfect house was getting to expensive to run. That's when the girl got unhappy. They moved again, much to the girl's dismay. At the new house, the girl and the stepfather continued to not get along. This made things hard on the girl's mother. They decided it would be best if the girl changed schools. The new school was in the city so it was easier if the girl went to live with her Grandparents. The girl was excited at first, but then reality started setting in. The girl wouldn't see her mother everyday. The girl and her mother were close. They talked about most things. How would the girl get on without her mother? The girl sure as hell didn't know. She was suddenly nervous.
She would be finishing the year full of uncertainties, full of worries.
She had no idea of what was about to happen.
Just a few short weeks after she had finished school, she rang her mother at work. Something wasn't right. The girl could hear it in the mother's voice. The mother knew the girl had picked up on it. When the girl's mother started crying, the girl started to panic. The mother told her she would finish work early to come an see her. Something had happened, the girl's mother never finished work early. The girl felt sick. So, for the whole morning the girl waited in fear, in fear of what had happened to make the mother act the way she had on the phone. The girl didn't leave the bedroom. When the mother arrived, she took one look at the girl and started crying again. The girl cried too. The two of them went to the grandparents and the mother explained what had happened.
The mother and the stepfather had gone to councilling the night before. The stepfather had admitted to not loving the mother anymore, to having doubts on their wedding day, and to marrying the mother for the wrong reasons. The mother explained to the girl that it wasn't her fault. That they would be having a trial seperation.
After they had finished talking, the mother went home and the girl went numb. She got smothered by the grandparents to the point where she couldn't be there anymore. She couldn't be there, but she couldn't go home. So the girl went to her aunty's house. That's where she hid, holding back her feelings, her tears, pretending she was okay. But the aunty and her friend could see right through the girl's cover. They talked to the girl, and explained that what she was feeling was normal. They told the girl that it was okay to cry and be angry.
She managed to hold back the tears until she had to go back to the grandparents to get some clothes. The grandmother tried to hug her, but the girl wasn't ready. The grandmother didn't like this. She told the girl that it hurt that she wouldn't allow her to hug her, and that they should mourn together. That was it. The girl went off at her. Then she went to bedroom. The aunty's friend came after her. She sat there with the girl and let her cry. She didn't talk. She just sat there and hugged the girl while she cried. When the girl finally got control of herself, they talked. And it was exactly what the girl needed.
After New Years, the girl and the mother moved out. It was hard packing up her life again. They moved to the girl's other aunty's house.
Four months later and the girl and her mother still lived at the aunty's house. There was no sign of anything happening. And no sign of the pain going away.
Nobody saw it, but the girl was still broken, still hurting, still unhappy. She had forgotten what happy .

You're so fucking immature.
Why the fuck would you say that?
I really don't like you right now.

I know that I told you that I wouldn't tell her about the things you told me about Kate and you.
But I did.
I did it because I'm worried.
I'm worried that if she gets too far gone, that you wont be far behind.
You need to know that we are always here and that we love you to pieces.
Never forget that.
We wonder if there is any way to save you. We don't want to lose you.

What if she does go too far?
How long until you follow?
You both talk about 'If you go, I go'.

Will we have time to talk you round?

She was right.
You are a beautiful person, inside and out.
Just find who you were.
The girl you lost.
We miss her.

It's strange how easy it can be to fall into old habits.