I want to tell you.
I want you to know.
I want you to make it better.

But I can't tell you.
And I can't ask that of you.
Because it isn't fair to you.
It isn't fair for you to have to do it.

So I will stay quiet.
And hopefully I will just get over myself and move on.

"It's none of your business."
"It doesn't concern you."

I keep hearing these words coming out of your mouth, but I'm failing to understand how what you are saying is true.

Today is going to be a good day. Everything so far has been amazing. After the shitty week I've had, today is the best day ever! I am so happy :D
Nothing can top today.
Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy.

I went and saw you.
You were so frail and shakey.
You had trouble talking, and you spoke so quietly.
It was hard seeing you.
I can see why Dad thinks you may not make it to the end of the week..

You're very sick. I haven't seen you in almost a year. I know I should go and see you in hospital, because Dad doesn't think you'll be around much longer. He said that if I went, if you knew who I was, you would love me for it. But I just can't bring myself to go. I'm scared of how bad you will be. I don't know what to expect. But I feel bad for not going. I'm your only granddaughter. And I bet the boys have gone to see you. Mum has said I don't have to go. That it's better to remember you the way you were not the way you are now. Papa and Aunty Carolyn agree. But I still feel bad. Because I will probably end up seeing Grandad. If he's still in Dunedin next weekend, I'll probably go down there with Dad. But only because I know that you are worse than him. That he will leave the hospital. You might not. But I do think that it would be better to remember you the way you were. Back when I would walk around in your high heel shoes pretending I was all grown up. Or fishing in the creek even though there weren't any fish in there, only the odd duck. It's those things that I will remember.

It's getting real now.

We get our stuff on Saturday.

We've looked at houses.

It's getting very real.

Today I met my spirit guides. Well, kind of. I didn't actually meet them, but I found out who and what they are. It was cool. I also got to see some of Treen and Vicky's spirit guides talking through them. It was soo cool! It was amazing to see the difference between them. I have 5 spirit guides. I have pictures of 3 of them in orb form.
My spirit guides are cool. I have:
Jafar the Dragon for Healing.
Seraphina the female Vampire for Divination.
Gimlock the male Vampire for Protection - And he's feisty!
Pythagorous the Fawn is my Teacher and Spiritual Guide.
And Sharaina the Forest Nymph is my Gatekeeper.

In the orb pictures I have only Jafar, Gimlock and Pythagorous sow themselves.

I was really excited when I found out.

Treen says that they showed themselves to me in the pictures because I wouldn't go to my Garden to meet them and they got sick of waiting LOL.

Now, that probably sounds like I'm crazy HAHAHAHA.