" I'm proud of the way I ended the year and brought in the new one. I hugged a bunch of total strangers, I drank too much, I tried new things.. I wasn't myself and I loved it. I want that new girl to come back.. She's fearless!! "

I wrote this after New Years last year.
That fearless girl died.
She's gone.
And all that's left is a broken girl who just wants to cry all the time.

Last New Years, I was with friends, drinking, talking to strangers, having fun.
This New Years, I'm going to be alone, completely sober, with nothing but my thoughts.
This has been a bad year. And I'll probably sit up and see it end, just so I can put it behind me.